My days are numbered. I’m approaching forty and there’s the very real possibility that I have already lived 50-60% of the time I have allocated.

There are the little things I’m noticing that make me realise I’m mortal like every other human.

Minimalist, Slick, Saucy!

Yesterday, I thought about sex and then a full fourteen minutes passed before I thought about sex again. That’s twice as long as it’s meant to take! And I’m not even sure I can credit the thought – shit, I haven’t thought of sex for fourteen minutes! – as a real sex thought at all.

Last week Archie, Lewis, Tyson and Maki were really dancing up a storm to some 90’s classic I was playing over the Plasma and when I was gripped by my usual jivey kind of enthusiasm and dropped to the floor to perform The Worm I completely mistimed it and cracked my chin on the hard polished floorboards.

Yeah, I’m edging on towards the reflective years.

Sometimes when I’m washing the dishes or putting on a load of washing, or pausing over the keyboard between sentences, I’ll lose time as my mind takes me through some memorable, meaningful event from my past.

There are the births of the kids in there, some especially hot and romantic weekends with Reservoir Mum, the dance-fights against the high-school bullies – that may or may not have actually happened – as I was laying in my bed at home with earphones on (I always won and all the girls loved me.)

Many of those memories are likely to fade at some stage as the years go by and the neurons fire with a little less poof and the corners of my grey matter dry and harden like the spilt weetbix Lewis left on the table this morning that required minutes of my time and my thick plastic spatula and a significant amount of swearing to get off.

There is, however, one recent life-altering event that is certain to stay with me, even as the dementia sets in, and that’s the day the new Reservoir Dad website was launched.

Thanks to the indefatigable, supremely skilled web-designer/author Joe Schatz (who is considered a God in my country) there is now a professional looking, easy to navigate, fun place for people to visit.

The fact that future generations will be able to visit the Reservoir Dad website with style and ease is a great comfort to the old and weary man I may become.

Thanks to the blog posts, vlogs, pictures and 80s/90s clips I’ve gathered here I will live forever. FOREVER!

This new improved super-dooper website is my eternal fuck you to mortality.

Here are some sight-seeing tips to guide you around –

  • Check out the new About Me section. It’s a bit more revealing than the last one.
  • This website is now fully mobile adaptive. If you were trying to view ideos on the old site on a mobile phone, for example, you had to leave the site and watch them on YouTube. Now you can stay right here. If you’ve missed my Housework Time Saving Series because you’ve been visiting the site with your iPhone, watch them right now! Here they are in order vid 1, vid 2, vid 3, (and the Rhys Muldoon classic) Vid 4.
  • It’s now so easy to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn etc. just click around. You’ll see.
  • I’m up for hire. Check out what I mean here.
  • Open up one of the posts and you’ll see an easy way to sign up to receive my newsletter! Do it! I promise it’ll be fun.
  • You’ll notice some new pages need some Facebook Likes and some Twitter shares so don’t hesitate! Try all the new buttons!

I’ll leave it there. There are still a few things to do, some easy links to my series of posts to include, a few tweaks of the layout, this and that. I have to work through the articles and sort out some broken links. If you find any let me know.

But I’d love to know what you think. Be one of the first people to comment on the new design.

And thanks again Joe Schatz!