I know it’s a big call to announce yourself as Australia’s Best Food Blogger in the world. Foodie numbers are increasing at such a rate that soon Tony Abbott and Andrew Bolt will have to stop screaming stop the boat people and start screaming stop the food bloggers. (I pity the poor detention centres!)

I am announcing myself as the best foodie ever only because of the rousing public support I received after posting the photo to your left (or above if you’re on a mobile) which appeared on my Facebook Page with this caption – 


Launching my food blogging career…
Ingredients – sausages and hamburgers
Method – put them on the barbie
(It’s what ya do with em)

When you are exceptionally good at something it can come as a surprise to have it heralded by others because, basically, you’ve been in possession of your talent since birth so it’s always appeared commonplace and effortless to you personally and that’s what’s happened to me here. I simply wasn’t aware I was Australia’s best food blogger until it was pointed out to me on Facebook. That update received a staggering 87 likes and over 12 comments (14 to be exact… although one was by me).

But it was the comments that flagged my irrepressible talent. To highlight just a few – Margaret Harper wrote ‘We need more celebrity foodies like you’. Sally Gurriere and Gus Gguuss both wrote ‘Brilliant’ with Gus adding ‘5 stars!’ Lisa Torsello suggested I should ‘Write a book’ and Seran Paton wrote ‘Add Duck Face’ which is something I didn’t even realize I was doing!

You can’t deny that kind of feedback and so after a short discussion with Reservoir Mum (who may or may not have heard the entire conversation because I was in the shower and she was out walking the dog) I decided it was my duty to do a regular series of posts to inspire and educate others about food and how to make nice meals.

Right, for my first public recipe as Australia’s Best Food Blogger I take my natural eye for the Gourmet to some common Aussie ingredients and create a surprisingly intimate dish which is perfect for hurried and hungry parents who stumble into some alone time they’d rather not waste on cooking because – let’s be honest here – cooking is one of the most boring tasks ever inflicted upon the human animal. If I had the money to outsource either cooking or chiseling weeks old Weetbix off the fabric of the kitchen chairs I’d outsource cooking every time. Cooking is just shit.



Open Vegemite And Cheese Sandwhich

Preparation Time: One minute

Cooking Time: N/A


Step 1


Setting is an important part of a good meal. It’s creates mood, focuses the diner’s attention and helps to moisten the palate and stir the gastric juices. Bring your imagination and your own sense of fine scenery by selecting objects that reflect your personality if you’re dining alone, or that captures the dynamics of your relationship or family if you’re bringing others to the table.

I’ve selected a candle (to light for my homies who lost their lives to the streets), a plastic flower (to symbolise my hatred of mowing lawns), a statue that was given to RM and I as a wedding present (because I don’t know what else to do with such a thing), a Christmas plate (because it’s Easter), and Jeffrey the Guinea Pig (because he’s food as well).


Step 2


You’ll need these ingredients. Butter, Vegemite, Bread (I just chose some from the freezer that was left over from the BBQ but you might want to buy some fresh stuff), cheese (there’s a great selection of cheese – even cheese sticks these days – but I’d recommend Home Brand slices because they’re cheap and easy), and some basil for decorative purposes only (don’t eat it!)


Step 3


Put the ingrediants on your favourite plate, pour yourself some Fanta, light your candle, stroke your Guinea Pig and experience a traditional Aussie meal with a touch of RD gourmet!

Please send pics of your Open Vegemite And Cheese Sandwhich to the Reservoir Dad Facebook Page.

This is RD signing off saying ‘cooking is shit’ and YOU’RE WELCOME!