Wednesday is usually the day I clean the majority of the mess and horror that has been accumulating since Monday morning because Archie and Lewis are at school and Tyson’s at kinder and me and Maki can potter around together cleaning here and there before he goes down for his late morning nap and I can attack the remaining filth and devastation like an expert excavator combing the site of an earthquake for survivors.

Let’s Try That Again

But Tyson’s kinder was cancelled for some reason or other and so Tyson, Maki and I caught up with Free Range Shae and her daughters Tanner, Harper and Willow for the day and when we got home I was feeling entirely and utterly knackered from working till late on this book and rising through the night to the kids and when I walked into the living area I just knew, man, like an old arthritic dog knows that it won’t be coming home from this particular trip to the vet, that the house had beaten me.

‘I’ve been defeated,’ I said to RM, who was helping Archie with a school assignment on the kitchen table.

‘What do you mean?’

I waved one arm out dramatically to indicate… something… as Tyson removed all his clothes, as Lewis set up bowling pins, as Maki stepped on the strawberry he’d discarded at breakfast, as I remembered that Lewis’s bed needed new sheets, as the towels and bathers from swimming lessons dampened the floor, as the smell of slightly stale washing wafted from the clothes horse, as the house placed its triumphant foot on my bloody carcass and called me a whore.

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The Dining Area

Messy-dining-room

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The Lounge

messy-lounge

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The Kitchen

messy-kitchen

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The Bedrooms

messy-archie-bedroom

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The Study

messy-study

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The Laundry

messy-laundry