Things weren’t so out of whack but they returned to normal about a month ago…
When Reservoir Mum walked past me to secure Maki in his high chair at the kitchen table I was on my way to the laundry – holding desperately against all hope that I could find one of Archie’s school jumpers in the unfolded washed pile of clothes that lay in a heap beneath the clothes dryer – I turned instinctively and said, ‘Cudz?’
Ever Tried A Cudz In The Nudz?
I have no idea where the teenage-like abbreviation of ‘cuddles’ came from and so took RM’s stunned look and laughter on the chin, but when I returned from the laundry and victory-threw Archie his wrinkly school jumper I was tackled by an RM cuddle, and although there was still a lot to get done before the morning school run – like clean my teeth and put some pants on – reciprocating the warmth and reconnecting was like taking a moment from the madness and remembering each other.
Later that day I thought about the cuddle and sent her several suggestive texts like hey, can you get some milk on the way home? and I just changed pants and caught my naked self staring back at me from the mirror and I can tell you it’s not all bad sister and when we were back together later that day the connection was strong, and we were in sync. It was as if the time and distance between us had gone poof like one of those universally loved and admired whoopee cushions.
Since that day I throw a ‘cudz’ request out there often and it’s always met with a smile and a pause and an embrace and I’ve noticed some wonderful things happening between RM and me, and also the kids, because of it. Things that our lives had been missing a little because we’d allowed for certain stresses and the usual busy-ness to crowd out the important intimate moments that have kept our relationship fresh and our family connection strong.
Almost every time The Cudz are on Maki and/or Tyson will run to join in, swarming our legs and wrapping their arms around us. I’ve also seen Archie and Lewis sneaking shy looks our way and it’s reminded me of how great it felt, when I was a child, to see my Mum and Dad displaying that kind of fun-affection for each other.
RM and I are back to talking more; remembering to ask about each others day and helping each other to negotiate our way towards some family and personal goals that will hopefully give us all a great chance at happiness.
Our regular weekly date-night sessions (we’re talking kid-free here) have regained their usual passionate, teeth-baring, back-arching heights and our role-playing performances have been Logie-like. Even pontaneous moments of R to X-rated intimacy have also been happening more often and I have no hesitations in saying it’s all because of the reconnection from those daily five to thirty seconds of cudz, man.
I’m excited about this!
I’m not the type to give advice on the relationship front and I don’t want to be seen to be ‘coming down’ on anyone but if you think your relationship’s getting shafted aside by the daily pressures, if you miss your partner even though you see him/her every day, I suggest giving the cudz-call a try. Turn to your partner as you’re rushing past each other and say the word, eyebrows raised, head tilted to the side like a puppy.
It’s an easy thing to say and do but its affects can be profound.
To help you ease into it, here are my five favourite kinds of cudz, (the sixth being reserved for elite practitioners or crazy people who just want to give it a shot to win a Wii Skylanders figure.)
Give these five a go! Call out for The Cudz today!
Cudz In The Kitchen
I love this one because it sounds like the 80s band Kids In The Kitchen. And because there generally are kids in our kitchen so I can follow up a cudz with Reservoir Mum by grabbing one of the boys and saying, hilariously, ‘Cudz with the Kids In The Kitchen!’ There are plenty of opportunities to sneak a Cudz In The Kitchen; one of my favourites is while the weetbix are circling the microwave for thirty seconds.
The Couch Cudz
There are about thirty different kinds of Couch Cudz I’ve discovered just in my own exploration and I’d estimate there are probably as many as one thousand we’ve yet to explore. So many positions and moods and so many influences based on time of day, what’s playing on the Plasma, whether you’re taking a break from folding clothes or entertaining guests around a fruit platter. Couch Cudz are great because of all those variables. Keep your eyes open and let me know of your own discoveries!
Be careful though. Any form of cudz that places you in the prone position will encourage young children to do a ‘piles on’, which leads me to the next kind of cudz…
The Crush Your Kids Cudz
Once your gorgeous little ones have noticed their parents in a cudz there’s a good chance they’re going to run over to share in some the comfy fun. It’s a great chance to be family inclusive. Press them between your bodies like they’re a nut in a nut-crusher and squeeze the air out of their lungs with your combined love until you hear them laugh-coughing in that asthma-ee kind of way.
This is plain family-affirming fun.
The Covert Cudz
Use this one sparingly because I’ve found it can get old if overdone. It can also be hard to hold your partner in a meaningful embrace while they’re trying to free their arms and legs with the intention of maiming you. Basically hide and wait for your partner to get within a few feet and then yell CUDZ! as you launch yourself at them for the cosy good stuff. My most successful Covert Cudz was hiding in the closet RM has to go to to get her coat and bag before heading off for work.
Cudz In The Nudz
One of my favourites. You’ve just hopped out of the shower and you’re all hot and red and the steam’s making you feel a little sleepy and all that combined makes you a feel a widdle wike a baby so when your partner walks in to do her teeth or her hair or to read the paper on the toilet whisper ‘cudz’ and pout a little and then really lean your weight in. Remember what it feels like to be held like an infant. Rule of thumb with this one is to never break the embrace. That’s for your partner to do.
The Combo Cudz
Combine the Covert Cudz with the Cudz In The Nudz and you’ve got an experience that’ll keep repeating itself for days and weeks. Yes, there is the danger of having your privates ripped off or rendered useless by an instinctive terror-borne knee but use it sparingly and there’ll be many a time when you can turn to the one you love best and elicit a smile by saying, ‘Remember when I did the Combo Cudz that time?’
The Combo Cudz Upsized
This is the Combo Cudz with the Cudz In The Nudz where both you and your partner are nude. Very difficult to orchestrate. I wouldn’t suggest doing it on date night when you are more likely to practicing some synchronized nude-ing because you generally don’t want to start of a promising evening by half scaring the one you love to death. Also, be careful – there are many exposed areas which are easily bruised. If you can manage this one share it with me here. I’ll send the first person who offers a confirmed Combo Cudz Upsized story a Skylanders Wii figure.
Let me know about your experience with The Cudz!