Reservoir Dad is available in all good book stores. If you’d rather skip my celebratory butt-kissing ramble and just order the book (release date June 25 2014) just follow these links – Booktopia, Bookworld, Random House Australia. Kindle here. Reviews and articles follow the butt-kissing ramble.
Since school pick-up the boys have been arguing and fighting and turning on me like a pack of wolves. Right now Archie’s avoiding his school project by creating Reservoir’s longest loom band – which is tied to a stool and already reaches down the hall – as Lewis corals his three guinea pigs on the couch and Tyson and Maki scatter rice across the kitchen floor, and if I wasn’t in a hyper-happy mood Reservoir Mum would’ve returned from her jog to find me sobbing, decorated in war-paint, stabbing at packets of gelatine, but instead I’m drinking wine and dancing to ‘Now That We’ve Found Love What Are We Going To Do With It’ and searching the net for Friday night takeaway options.
She saunters into the kitchen, all sexy-sweaty. Her tight lycra pants end just above her ankles and the skin there harnesses all my positive energy to direct my attention upwards, towards her knees, and beyond!
‘Well hello,’ I say, swiping my hand down my face to transform into Austin Powers. ‘Looks like the entertainment’s arrived… baby.’
‘Ha. Ha,’ she says, and then frowns. ‘The boys are scattering rice all over the floor.’
‘Yes,’ I say, seeing her frown and raising it with my mock-frown. ‘It’s very romantic. Like weddings.’
‘Stupid Maki!’ Tyson yells.
‘Idiot Tyson!’ Maki yells.
‘You’re both stupid idiots,’ Lewis yells, pointing at them with a guinea pig.
‘Everyone just be quiet!’ Archie yells from down the hall, the loom band jolting along the floor like a fishing line.
‘Annnnd . . . I’m home!’ RM says, laughing, as I lift up my enormous glass of wine and dip my tongue into it like one of those flat-faced cats. ‘Oh, you’re drinking already.’
‘Oh, I’m drinking already . . . ’ I say, taking the few seconds of stalling to get my eye-twitches under control. ‘Because we’re celebrating!’
‘What are we celebrating?’
‘My book is off to the printer. Finished. Out of my hands. It’ll be in bookstores June 25th – and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.’
RM smiles, and after slipping her arms around my waist she takes an arse cheek in each of her warm hands and starts jigging them up and down.
‘Wow, now I know what it feels like to be hit on by Anthony the Wiggle,’ I say, my voice vibrating under the strength of her enthusiasm.
‘Congratulations,’ she says. ‘I’m proud of you.’
I lean in close for the thrill in her hug but before I can even get a whiff of her hair we hear ‘That’s my Mummy,’ and two year old Maki’s reaching up towards RM’s hips and planting a kiss on her right butt cheek.
‘Hey,’ RM laughs, a little screamy. ‘No kissing Mummy’s bummy!’
‘Yeah,’ I say, called into action, dropping to my knees and shuffling round to RM’s back end. ‘It’s not Maki’s bummy, it’s my bummy,’ I say, before kissing her left butt cheek.
‘No, MY bummy,’ Maki yells again, kissing her right butt cheek even harder than before – his nose actually mashing down under the pressure – and then repeating this several times over, wood-pecker style.
‘MY BUMMMYY!’ I say again, and in the relief of that roar the effort of my achievement suddenly hits me. I’ve done it! The book is born! As the world disappears and reappears with every passionate kiss I look across and see Charles Dickens and Tim Winton and Emily Brontë and Tara Moss tasting RM-scented spandex right along with us and . . . holy shit . . .
I am an AUTHOR!
‘Okay, I think that’s enough,’ RM says from somewhere high above, but we don’t want to stop – not Maki, not me, not Virginia Wolf and definitely not Henry Miller – and so I go on face-planting RM’s left butt cheek furiously, until she’s forced to brace herself against the kitchen bench, scream-laughing.
Reservoir Dad is available in all good book stores. To order your copy of Reservoir Dad onlineplease follow these direct links…
The Age Newspaper
Reservoir Dad is a lovingly stitched book, held together by the many small incidents that make up Greagen’s journey of “child-lassoing and shoe-prospecting and kid-corralling”. Hilarious all throughout its vomit-, wee- and food-stained pages, it’s also at turns poignant, nostalgic, philosophical and wise. Written with bleary-eyed honesty and accompanied by a whole lot of daggy ’80s pop music, it explores the trajectory of romance and marriage to Tania, the births of each of their children, and all the chaos of a rumpled life well-lived.
Read here – Book Review: Reservoir Dad
Clint is refreshingly honest about parenting, which is really about capturing the beautiful moments or being thankful through the hard times.
What I admire most is Greagen’s obvious dedication to his sons, and his relationship with his wife, the ever-patient Reservoir Mum (aka Tania), with whom he still shares a weekly date night, on a mattress in front of the TV.
Read here – Review: Reservoir Dad by Clint Greagen
This Charming Mum
It’s a story lots of us can relate to and it’s packed with the moments of family life we’ve probably all experienced, and read about, before: first days with a newborn, how to have a successful date night, kids say the darndest things and so on. The twist here, though, is in the no holds barred male perspective. Greagen’s storytelling also stands out from the crowd for its ability to swing between bawdy humour and insightful zingers that hit you like an arrow through the heart.
Read here – Reservoir Dad – The Book by Clint Greagen
Clint really has a way with words which makes it easy to get inside his head and see life from his perspective, it’s full of humour, he is one funny guy and I found it a down to earth and honest read.
Reservoir Dad is totally devoted to each of his boys and his love for his wife is just wonderful to read about. His sadness and devastation when one of their pregnancies miscarries is heartbreaking, and gave me a new insight into the father point of view of this very sad time in a family’s life. The experiences that he is providing for his children is quite remarkable. And quite inspiring.
Read here – Review ‘Reservoir Dad’ by Clint Greagen
Reservoir Dad is, undoubtedly, a role model for all people. His writing is simple, easy, and strikingly effortless. His talent for helping and relating to other people (by profession he’s a youth worker) shines clearly and his failures and imperfections (which he confesses without discretion) make him all the more relatable. His playful, whimsical attitude and silly idioms keeps the reader on their toes and on the edge of their seat. Reservoir Dad is, without a doubt, an insight into the shifting gender roles of modern society.
Read Here – lip lit: reservoir dad
Clint loves his kids and loves being a dad and he’ll warm your heart telling you about it, and about how vulnerable it makes him feel. (‘This feels illegal,’ he says to Tania as they leave the hospital with newly-born Archie). He’ll also lay it out on a red satin pillow of self-deprecation, hyperbole, honesty, a little bit of tragedy, a decent nod to the haunting moments of our lives, and a wicked sense of humour and that’s why it works so well. It reminds you again of how normal bringing up children is and how damn awesome everyone who does it at least nominally well is. Even if your taste in 80’s music is outright cruddy.
Read here – Book Review: Reservoir Dad by Clint Greagen