Report from the Domestic Frontline

At approximately 10.15am this morning a suicide tissue wandered into Sector-Washing-Machine-G.

Thankfully, most of the impact was absorbed by a large heavy jumper. Minor damage sustained by pair of school pants, a black work blouse, and a pair of mentally sexy underwear.

‘I’m no hero,’ the modest jumper said. ‘I just did what any other garment would do.’

The jumper will be awarded the Medal of Valour and an hour of gentle plucking as I sit on the couch watching tonight’s movie, The Good, The Bad and The Fluffy.

Reservoir Dad Facebook, June 3 2011.