Interviews With People came from my 2013 New Years Resolution to ‘get to know everyone well’ which, for some reason, seems a tad ambitious to some people. There was even one woman who turned away and whispered impossible under her breath.
That won’t stop me from trying though. I want to know everyone. That desire won’t die.
Today I got to know Andrew ~ RD.
Getting To Know Andrew
I am married and the father of four boys. The photo below was taken at a point where we went from two to four children and everything changed.
As a boy a goal of mine was to travel to Egypt. When I met my wife my priorities and what I thought was important in life changed for the better.
I want there to be more acceptance of diversity in the world. No one should be treated differently just because they don’t fit with your ideals.
My wife is the person who knows me best, accepts me for who I am. She’s the one that makes sure the BIG kid is okay even though there are four other little boys vying for attention.
The lowest and highest points in my life occurred on the same day. My Grandfather died in the morning and my son Lewis was born later that night. It was such a roller coaster of emotions that my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. It felt like my grandfather was still there with me and that he helped to bring Lewis into the world early to help ease mine and the family’s pain.
Getting To Know Andrew Well
RD: Life has changed considerably for you over the past five years. Your back story suggests some surprise at the way things have turned out. What about yourself, your personality, your expectations, your goals, etc do you have to let go of to fully embrace your life as it is now?
Andrew: The past five years has been one hell of a ride that hasn’t quite stopped just yet. Partaking on the journey has altered my perceptions on what is important in life i.e. that material things don’t have as much importance as they once did, and my actions don’t just affect me anymore in that there is four little people (soon to be six) and my wife that rely on me.
Five years ago I just had to worry about myself and my wife and now there are all these people that are dependent on us. But you change and all of a sudden you’re witnessing the birth of your first son and a sense of responsibility dawns on you. I don’t know about others but your whole world changes to accommodate a child, in a good way, but it doesn’t mean you have to change personality i.e. I can still be a cheeky prankster.
One thing I never really expected was to lose as many friends as what we have. My wife and I had kids early whilst most of our friends were busy traveling, mingling etc etc, and because your priorities are different, friendships have dropped by the way side a bit. It’s not something I regret it’s just something that I never expected.
RD: What is happening in your day when ‘the doubts’ hit you hardest?
Andrew: ‘The doubts’ hit me hardest when I’ve got time to sit back and think to myself about the track the family is heading down. To me the future is scary and I don’t like what I can’t see. I like set plans and everything running like clockwork but life very rarely goes to plan.
Doubts begin to creep into my head when the boys are acting out and not listening to myself or my wife, and you begin thinking am I making the ‘right’ parenting decisions? What are the ‘right’ parenting decisions? And how will my decisions affect my child later on in life?
However, more recently the doubts have been about the recent news of my wife being pregnant with twins againHer last pregnancy was twins and I just don’t know how we’ll cope with twins again
RD: In the past few years there have been many stories, newspapers columns and focus in social media outlets on males doing bad things. As a father of four boys myself I am worried about the influence this has on growing boys. How are we going to ensure that boys don’t internalise the idea that masculinity is somehow intrinsically bad?
Andrew: I would hope that the family values that I’ve passed down to my boys would help them understand right from wrong, and just because there are a lot of news stories about men doing a lot of bad things, doesn’t mean that we generalise the male population as inherently bad. That there are bad people in the world BOTH male and female.
RD: How does your Grandfather live through you? Have you adopted some of his mannerisms and phrases, or internalised some of his beliefs or attitudes?
Andrew: My grandfather lives through me from the memories we shared of trips to the beach. His love of the beach has spread throughout the extended family which I could only hope to do with my boys. I would like to think that I’ve adopted his easy going attitude toward life and his love of nature, as well as his attitude to do whatever it takes to look after your family.
RD: What can you do to support your wife more?
Andrew: I’m sure my wife could probably rattle off a list for you right now. But I think the main areas where I can help my wife out more would be with the ever growing pile of washing that having four boys brings, and giving her a hand every now and then with the cooking when she has had a rough day looking after the kids. My wife is great in every way and the fact that she can still greet me at the door with a smile even though she may’ve had a rough day makes me feel like I’ve won the lottery.
Read more about Andrew by following his blog Six Under Seven
If you’d like to be an RD Interviewee for 2013 read this post and follow the directions.