Author: Reservoir Dad

Truce Films Acquire Rights to Make ‘Reservoir Dad the Movie’

Today’s news was as exciting as any I’ve ever received because after two months of negotiations with Random House Australia, Truce Films have acquired the rights to my book Reservoir Dad, and they’re going to adapt it into a feature length film.  The contract has been written up and is awaiting my signature and I’ve been celebrating since picking the boys up from school, having a drink while adorning the clothes horse, having a drink while making dinner, having a drink through a riotous dinner-time of dropped forks and food refusals and cross the table cock-fighting that almost gave...

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What Men Talk About In Gyms # 3

We’re approaching the end of our regular Wednesday night weight session in my home gym and after some bench pressing madness and some heavy sets of 5 on the Pendlay Rows, Greeny heads home and there’s only friend and Psychologist Nige and I left, finishing off the workout with a few accessories. It’s as we’re coaching each other through sets of Seated Cleans to the tune of Lionel Richie’s All Night Long that I attempt to delve into Nige’s expertise with a theory I’ve been working on. ‘You might have come across this in your… pychologising,’ I say, as I...

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Today Was Wonderful, Tomorrow Will Be Wonderful…

8.00pm I’ll be disappointed if Reservoir Mum isn’t high on the chlorinated steam rising from the spa bath at her mid week all expenses paid Sports Medicine conference at Hepburn Springs right now but all I can really think of, as the time creeps on towards 8pm, is the long night ahead where I’ll be juggling the ever-waking Tyson and Maki solo and that’s why I pause just before turning their light off to try for something a little sneaky: ‘Hey, if you two sleep in your own beds for the whole night, without coming in to my bed...

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The Post Baby Blues

I’m washing our slick new frypans with slow circular strokes and listening to Together In Electric Dreams, because it fits with my low mood, when RM sidles up behind me and holds her iPhone out with a video already queued and playing.  I’ve been down since we returned home and have hardly slept and despite keeping up with the pace of family life and working through the days with a smile, RM has noticed that I’m not charging with the usual flare and I’m guessing that’s why she’s showing me this right now. The video shows Archie, Lewis, Tyson,...

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Win A Family Photo Shoot and Learn More About the Vagina!

We’re dressed in suits – even wearing ties – and on our way to a secret location for our first professional family photo shoot ever. The kids are going scream-punch-crazy in anticipation, and while Reservoir Mum does her best to explain to them that they’ll need to listen to the photographer and do as they’re told if they want to go to K-Mart directly afterwards to pick out any toy they want no matter what the cost, I’m thinking about nothing but the vagina because I’ve been mocked for saying that women wee out of them. ‘Hey,’ I say...

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