Author: Reservoir Dad

Study – Massive Plasma Improves Skills in Children

Study – Massive Plasma Improves Skills in Children This is for all you smug bastards out there who are as sure as shit that television rots the brains of innocent children. Stop sending me the latest studies (sponsored by biased parties like the Australian Society of Libraries or Swingsets Pty Ltd) that ‘prove’ that kids who watch the most TV are the dumbest, the most violent and the least likely to comply with their Ritalin prescription. It’s simply not true. I now have rock solid proof that watching television is so beneficial to all children over the age of...

Read More

Transexual Hugs Wet Man While Strangling Dog

Okay, so the title isn’t quite capturing the truth. I just thought I’d try to alter the facts of the story, just a little, to get a few more hits. I mean if it’s good enough for the major Australian Newspapers… What’s this post go to do with home-dadding? Just about nothing apart from the fact that I a home-Dad (or a house husband, or a domestic engineer, or whatever you wanna call me) and that animal related sensationalism is becoming so regular now that I think we can all pass on the fibre-enforced cereal and keep a hop...

Read More

Reservoir Dads Question Nightmares

Reservoir Dad’s Question Nightmares Sometimes after a long 12 – 16 hour day with kids you just want to ship them off to bed as quick as possible so that you can clean and sweep and fold and stuff and crash in front of the TV for some well-deserved Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. (Me and Gordon Ramsay are so alike it’s scary. Sometimes he points at some dull space cadet and says something like ‘You’re a fucking idiot’ and I can’t help but chuckle in amazement at how I was thinking the exact same thing.) It’s when you’re absolutely knackered...

Read More

Speaking of Stuffed Here Comes The Count

So now the plan is to stuff Sam the Koala and stick him next to Pharlap at the MelbourneMuseum. You know what I reckon? If you’ve had your house burnt down, your habitat destroyed, your extremities cooked and your death ensured by cyst-inspiredurogenital chlamydiosis your pretty well stuffed already. Speaking of stuffed, Reservoir Mum thought she was just about stuffed last week while hanging out at the pool with Archie and Lewis. She was sitting on a stool, poolside, next to four Muslim women wearing full body Burkahs. One of the women was dressed entirely in black. Lewis exited...

Read More

Sam the Koala and Mr Tree

I’m a bit hesitant to voice my thoughts on another media-hyped animal story after the email hammering I copped for my thoughts on ‘Buckley the Dog’ but I can’t help but get a bit bemused by the media attention and the outpouring of public sympathy over the death of ‘Sam the Koala’ this week. For those who don’t know, Sam became famous world wide after he was filmed, singed and sooty, taking a drink from the water bottle of Firefighter David Tree during the Black Saturday fires in Victoria, Australia. She became the ‘symbol of hope’ in the face...

Read More

Comments

Archives

Categories